


Back to the Future

by ManicSkies



Series: Unfounded [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Adventures of an Uchiha and his Senju lapdog, Attempted Murder, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Chaos and disorder, Experiment gone wrong, F/M, In the sheets?, Inappropriate Humor, Izuna and Tobi, Izuna is a freak, Lots and Lots of milkshakes, Milkshakes, Modern Era, Not to be taken seriously, One Shot, Sexy Tobirama, Shirtless Tobirama, Snarky Tobirama, Spin-Off, To Make People's lives a living hell, Tobirama rocks tho, Uchiha Izuna Lives, Who Knows?, lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-04-23 17:35:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14337591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManicSkies/pseuds/ManicSkies
Summary: Izuna and Tobirama go on a little known adventure blind as bats and dumb as stooges.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways, this a spin-off/one-shot/stand-alone accompanied to my fic Unfounded.  
> *** You do not need to have prior knowledge of Unfounded to read this. In other words, you don't need to read Unfounded to understand what is going on here. (Unless you want to, then by all means, read on! ) This is only a spin off, just some dabble I came up with.

_"DAMMIT UCHIHA! What is it that you don't understand about ' do not touch this apparatus IZUNA UCHIHA'?_" Tobirama snapped at the deranged and mentally disturbed man that is Uchiha Izuna in the flesh.

Tobirama was perhaps the greater idiot out of the pair. An exceptional imbecile. And a dunce. A dunce for having ever believed that a mere sign would deter ignoramuses of the likes of Izuna. This man, this simpleton...He would be the death of Tobirama. Not through battle, not through an exchange of blows and not even by a great fireball. No, that would not kill Tobirama. Izuna 's idiocy would take away his last breath. His thoughtlessness. His recklessness. His lack of responsibility. Lack of concern for other's safety. Lack of concern for  _his own safety._  His lunacy. The list goes on forever and ever and ever...but Tobirama would be long gone by then, his body already decomposed and his bones were no longer anything but calcified ash.

"What? Don't like me touching your stuff? Then didn't put them out in the open." He countered.

"In the open?  _In the open?"_ Tobirama repeated. He was trying to make sense of everything, but he couldn't. " _HOW ON EARTH IS THIS IN THE OPEN? YOU'RE IN MY LAB."_ He was mind blown to say the least. It was mind boggling to see the Uchiha just stand there and not care for what could have happened. He didn't even try to make up a plausible excuse.

He shrugged. "You know what? You're right. I only did this to piss on your shitty experiments."  _Honesty is the best policy but insanity is a better defense, hmm?_

 _"_ I knew it! You under-developed man child. It's a wonder you're even breathing today. I'd kill myself if I were you." Tobirama shot back. This was the best he could do, it may have been a little harsh..0

"Oh really? I'd beg to differ. I think you'd enjoy being me. I mean, look at my life. Then look at your miserable one.  _Who wouldn't want to be me?"_ His wicked grin had returned. Never had Izuna looked so smug.

_"Suiton: Suidan no Jutsu!"_

Perhaps his water bullet technique would pierce this child's body and take him away from Tobirama's sight before he did anything reckless. It worked. Almost. It didn't particularly bore holes into him, but it did drench and carry him away in large waves.

 _"IF IDIOTS LIKE YOU GREW ON TREES, THIS PLACE WOULD BE A FUCKING ORCHARD!"_ Tobirama just couldn't help himself, he shouted at the young Uchiha who was drowning in the hallways leading to his laboratory.

"YEAH? Masturbation is like procrastination dear friend—it's all good fun until you realize you're just FUCKING YOURSELF TOBIRAMA! What, you think I'M DEAF? THAT I CAN'T HEAR YOUR 'ouhs' AND 'aahs'? " Izuna gurgled while desperately trying to catch his breath. Tobirama paid no attention to the nonsense he was spewing.

 _"KISS MY ASS UCHIHA!"_ He then went to shut the door with a bang. "Oouf." He sighed, relieved that his childhood nemesis was finally out of his space. If only for a second. The door shot open once more.

"Never. I'd rather pluck off my lips and rip my tongue out then get them anywhere near your stinkin'-" A glass bowl was hurled his way. A great big gash would have split his head open had he not closed the door in time. But that didn't stop him. No. He re-opened the door and stuck his head inside, water still dripping from every corners of his face. And began speaking with the same infuriating calm tone.

"You know, if you find me that offensive than I suggest you quit finding me." Something inside Tobirama snapped in half at that comment. Something serious. Something fragile and had little of. Oh, yes. His prudence. Or was it his mental balance? It didn't matter at this point. They've been worn thin since the Uchiha agreed to an alliance with the Senju. Per Hashirama's request and Madara was dumb enough to accept it. After many years of pleading on his elder brother's part, the Uchiha leader finally succumbed to Hashirama's incessant whining. The fact that Madara was able to hold his ground for this long astonished Tobirama. Though he supposed it was just about time he fell to Hashirama's cheap tricks. No one could resist the Senju leader for this long. No one. Not even Tobirama Senju.

And along with the treaty came an annoying clause. A clause named Izuna Uchiha. Because he wasn't a person. Not in Tobirama's eyes. He was the devil's spawn and the devil wasn't Madara this time. That said a lot to the white haired ninja. Unfortunately, and as hard as he tried to remove said clause from the agreement, he couldn't. It came as part of the package and followed Madara wherever he went. And if Madara came here, so would  _it._ He hid most of his dangerous experiments away whenever the Uchiha were visiting.

He knew Izuna meant trouble and he couldn't risk what disastrous event could happen because the reckless shinobi gave no shits about life. His and others. This time...this time was different. Tobirama had been exploring something atypical. His research into the space-time ninjutsu area was just getting interesting. Ever since inventing the flying Raijin, his mind never stopped wondering on what else that was attainable in a realm that was once thought beyond the bounds of possibilities. Infinite odds in which he could virtually achieve anything, the endless timelines... The space-time continuum was everything and was nothing right at the same time. He had no explanations for it. Nothing that made sense. Yet, Tobirama knew he had to learn everything there was about it. Little did he know that the tiniest mistake could gravely result into something greater than his own capabilities. Capabilities to right the wrongs he committed. Or rather, will about to commit.

He was testing out a new formula derived from the one he used when marking destinations he wanted to teleport himself to. He was right in the middle of the investigation when the air-headed Uchiha interrupted him. Tobirama couldn't bring himself to try and understand what must have been going through Izuna's head. He just couldn't, he didn't know how to and wasn't sure he  _wanted_  to. He had finished building a piece of equipment that he was going to test on his newest jutsu. A device that simulated the same conditions as that of a living organism. Filled with organic matter. He wasn't about to start testing animals. Nor humans just yet. It was too early to tell what sort of effects could occur.  _But now.._

A sinister thought had popped up in his mind. If Izuna was that interested in his little project, surely he wouldn't object to participating in it? You could call him a guinea pig, but Tobirama wouldn't. Not to his face anyways. He didn't want to scare him off.  _No, let him figure it out for himself._

_Very well then._

* * *

Mito had just given birth to Hashirama's first child.  _First._  Because he surely intended to spawn a few more. Images of little Hashiramas running throughout the compound scared Tobirama. A lot. It was a newfound fear. One that had instantly developed once Mito announced she was with child. Hashirama's. Ever since then, little children with Hashirama's grown face plastered above their own little bodies...images like that ran amuck in his mind. It unsettled him deeply and Tobirama feared very few things. But this was one of them. His brother had the mental capacity of a child himself...to see him surrounded by miniature versions of himself that were just as dumb... It was safe to say a chill ran up Tobirama's spine at the mere thought of them. Hence, why he was standing a good ten meters away, near the door. Afraid that if he would get any closer, he just might vomit. Mito and the newborn were laying on the bed while Hashirama was on one side, prodding the neonate incessantly. His Uzumaki wife, barely awake and little to no energy left in her, tried her best to stop him. Madara, too, was present on the other side. He was watching the scene intently. This was why he was here. Along with his younger brother. While Izuna was not currently present in the room,  _thank goodness,_ they had arrived the same morning in order to attend the festivities that were due to happen. It was the Senju clan's leader firstborn and it was customary for them to invite close allies to celebrate.

Madara held the child, shook it to the sides and shifted it up and down, as if inspecting a package and not a human glob of mushy flesh. As gently as an Uchiha brute could.

"It looks...good. Here." He handed  _it_ back to the Senju after he was satisfied that it posed no harm to him or to his surroundings. "Congratulations." He said dully.

"Thanks!" Hashirama beamed of happiness, proud like had just helped produce something of value, for the first time in his life. Tobirama couldn't understand the look he had in his eyes, they were never present there before. So, he assumed it must have been caused by the child.  _But why? What did the child do?_

 _"_ Come here Tobirama. Don't you want to hold it?" He was being ushered over, but he preferred viewing the moment from farther away. He was comfortable just where he was.

"No, thank you." He respectfully declined.

"Come on! Look at your little nephew. Isn't he just precious?!" He then proceeded to hold the child dangerously close to the edge. The covers in which he was swaddled in came undone, exposing the baby and his little form. It was immensely small. It was hard to believe he was once that size and that he was now the way he was. The time in between passed by in an instant. He could recall nothing momentous about his childhood times. Nothing that was worthy of being remembered. Nothing good. Nothing that left him with good impressions.

 _Wait, how could they even tell he was a boy?_ His...member was barely visible. Tobirama wouldn't have been able to identify a gender this early, but then again, he didn't know much about children. The boy nearly slipped from Hashirama's arms. Mito's eyes were practically bulging out of their orbits as she squealed. Even Madara made a move to latch onto the child. Hashirama's face dropped a several degrees of fright and panic. But no one was as fast as Tobirama. He was instantly by their side and caught onto the child before anyone of them could see what happened. He swaddled the child tightly and held onto it so it wouldn't fall. Again. Everyone in the chambers let out a sigh of relief but perhaps Hashirama's was the loudest. It didn't last very long as his exhaling soon turned into a shriek. Many thanks to Mito's kick to his lower abdomen from under the covers. He fell back onto a chair and tumbled to the floor. The new mother was staring daggers at the unlucky man.

Tobirama took a good look at the child. A very good look. He had been afraid that he would be met by a laughing Hashirama with a pocket-sized body. The utter creepiness of it was unfounded. He half expected a roaring and a guttural chuckle to erupt from this tiny human. But it didn't. It didn't even look like Hashirama and he was immensely grateful. A minute had passed and Mito asked to hold the child. He had no problem obliging whatsoever. As he was about to hand the boy back, he decided to leave Tobirama with a parting gift. A gift of white puke.  _Milk. Oh for goodness sake's..._

Breast milk. The boy blew up chunks of a yellowish-whitish viscous fluid all over Tobirama's face and parts of his fur collar. Before he could even think about what had occurred, Mito had taken the child away, maybe afraid that Tobirama might snap it in half. Of course he wouldn't, he would just..

He heard a dark chuckle from behind him followed by a snarky remark. "My, my, I can't help but notice how well it compliments your skin and hair color." Tobirama turned his head to meet the man with that tongue and glared at him as best as he could. However, Madara only continued to smirk. How could he not? His glare was worthless as long as the milk kept dripping down his chin and brows.

"Good-bye." He bid them farewell so he could go shout and clean this nasty mess that covered his face.

"See that wasn't too hard Tobirama." Hashirama was still gathering himself from the floor when he saw the scowl on his younger brother's face. Nothing needed to be said. He was gone.

* * *

Finally, the festivities were underway. The sooner they finished, the sooner all these people would be out of his compound's home. He had enough. The main hall was loud and boisterous. There were people, food, more people and more food...which equated to a tumultuous crowd jabbering over prepared dishes which further equated to a very, very messy and unpleasant place to be. And drinking. The sake bottles appeared to have no end as they came one after the other. Tobirama disliked messy places so he avoided staying there much longer. He congratulated both the new parents as expected and made his way out of there. What he also  _disliked_ was being seated that close to the Uchiha. It was unbearable and so it gave him all the more reason to leave under the guise of more work relating to the settlement construction awaiting him. It was easily bought by most. Except Izuna that is. The idiot decided to follow him back to his lab. Truthfully, he wasn't going to do some work he lied about. For him, this didn't count as work. Discovering new things was his hobby.

Why had Izuna followed him? He didn't care, but if the moron wanted to be part of the experiment, then so be it.

He slid open the back doors and entered the mostly vacant room. He didn't even bother lighting most of the candles there. The majority of his other creations laid elsewhere and Tobirama had personally assigned this room to this project, solely. He went to take off the fur collar only to remember he had already taken it off before the dinner when he tried to clean it, but failed. Miserably. That collar was like a part of him, he felt naked and exposed without it. Which was why he had at least another two clean ones as back up. Hashirama didn't attempt to hide his ridicule about this matter. One of those collars were stored here. After he put it on, he felt ready to continue on with his research. But first, he had to take care of the pest around the corner.

"Stop hiding like a damn weasel." He warned Izuna who made no effort to conceal himself.

"Boy, you really like that thing.." He was referring to Tobirama's quirky habit.

"So? What does it matter to you?" Tobi replied nonchalantly.

"Oh, nothing.." He whistled as he invited himself into the bare lab. Then, with a sing-song voice, he added, "It's just that I'm trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective. _But...I just can't get my head that far up my ass. Sorry."_

He wasn't. He wasn't sorry one bit.

"You have your entire life to be obnoxious. Why can't you take today off?" Tobirama turned his attention to somewhere else. He went for the machine he had been building for the past few days as Izuna stared aimlessly around the empty walls.

"Sure, once you stop being a jerk for the day." That was his condition. A stupid condition. He continued to ignore the man and sat down in front of the device. All he needed to do was-

"So what are you really up to, Mr. snowman?"  _That name...That stupid nickname..._ To have to interrupt his thoughts in a manner such as that. Tobirama took in a deep breath and did his best to disregard the useless existence of the Uchiha in front of him.

Noticing that he wasn't going to get an answer, Izuna pushed. "You know.." He began whispering. "Someday, you're going to go really far and I hope you never come back-"

"LOOK. I don't know what your problem is but I'm guessing it's hard to pronounce. Your stupidity far outweighs your common sense." Tobirama replied viciously while still reading a book he had picked out. But that didn't falter Izuna. He was never affected by anything. Then, something occurred to him. "Here, want to make yourself useful?" He asked him.

"Actually, no I don't." Izuna answered but it was too late. The white haired man closed the book and performed a sequence of hand signs the Uchiha had never seen before. Not just the sequences, but the types. It was not the usual ram, tiger, boar and monkey. No, they were much different and before he knew it, Tobirama smacked his hand over his forehead. Izuna retreated almost instantly.

"Hey!" What did you do that for you dick?!" Izuna's forehead was turning red and hot as kanji characters began to appear. Tobirama was watching the scene carefully, analyzing every detail.  _What could possibly go wrong?_  He didn't know but was sure to find out soon.

"Nothing. I just thought that you would want to take part of this experiment seeing that  _you were so interested_  about it." He crossed his arms as he replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Izuna was growing more restless and irritated as he only felt his temperature rise. This went on for a couple of minutes and nothing happened. Nothing but more kanji characters appearing. Not on Izuna, but Tobirama. Specifically in the palm of the hand he used to mark Izuna with his new formula.  _Oh oh._ That wasn't supposed to happen. Not per his calculations. He shouldn't have been affected.

And then everything went blank. Actually, not everything. Just them. They became the only sources of light in this dimly-lit room as it enveloped both their figures.

"Wait, what did you do?!" He heard Izuna exclaim from far away, like a distance had been placed between them.

* * *

Drop.

Drop.

More drops.

 _Rain._ He felt rain trickling down, minuscule drops landing on his face and metal happuri. He looked up and saw a clear and grey sky and wondered where were the clouds responsible for this drizzle. Noises. Loud noises. Ear-piercing sounds. Like a pandemonium. He turned to his side and saw Izuna, too, was confused as he examined his surroundings. He wasn't sure what time it was but remembered that it had been night not even a few moments ago. More harsh ringing ensued, Tobirama thought his ears would bleed with everything that he was hearing. What he was seeing was completely different than anything he had ever witnessed before. There were people. A lot of them. Dressed rather strangely. Some of them were walking while some sat inside some sort of moving boxes. They seemed to be the source of all that sound. Not just one box, but many. All of them with contrasting colors, some of them red, others were black and there were blue-tinted ones. Their shapes also differed, some had a streamline shape just like fishes while others were more squared. And then there were the  _really, really_  big boxes. About three times larger than the rest and Tobirama as well as Izuna were standing right at the center of them all.

"HEY YOU IDIOTS! MOVE IT OR YOU'LL GET RUN OVER!" Tobirama heard a man scream at him but barely heard him over all the noise. He backed up a bit, startled at the scene in front of him. His back hit Izuna's as each of them tried to dodge the moving boxes. Upon further inspection, Tobirama saw that these 'boxes' were attached to wheels. Four to be exact. And they couldn't be boxes, boxes weren't made of metal. Both shinobi went for their katana and unsheathed them. It was pouring heavily now and the so-called crates were passing them by, slithering over the ground. _Concrete?_ He looked down and saw the grayish surface they were standing on. It was definitely concrete.  _Was this a street?_

 _"DAMN YOU TOBIRAMA! I remember specifically telling you to go far away and never come back. NOT TO TAKE ME ALONG WITH YOU, YOU CUNT-"_ Izuna was trying to communicate his anger to Tobirama above all this commotion.

The...things stopped moving. But the noise didn't. Instead, a new group of mobile metal boxes advanced. However, from the opposite direction this time. Tobirama noticed that this had only occurred when the lights overhead, that he had noticed a minute ago, had changed from red to green. There was a yellow light bulb in the middle. Each of these lights were hung on a post placed at each corners of the streets. The change was momentarily but slow enough for him to notice. This forced both ninja to move their place. They didn't know where they were going. All they knew was that they probably shouldn't get hit by the moving boxes with people inside of them. A rectangular black box passed them by, its owner screamed at them like the man before.

"FUCKERS! GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY OR YOU'LL DIE." Glass panels were what separated him from the insides of his whatsit and the outdoors. Another similar device followed with more angry people shouting vulgar things. Things they've never been called before. "What the hell?" Tobirama finally said.

"Move!" Izuna warned him and he narrowly missed the grey machine coming at him. It skidded right around him and nearly collided with another oncoming device.

"MOTHERFUC-" That person had said. They found themselves moving towards the right side of this wide street and came to a stop next to a stationary box. The owner of it, a woman, had stepped out into the rain and faced both him and Izuna.

"What the heck do you think you're doing?! Get out of here you nutcases. Do you have a death wish?!" She was gesturing in every direction, waving her arms like she was the crazy one.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CRAZY NUTCASE YOU PUNY WOMAN!?" Izuna had lost it and went straight on to attack the woman. His katana in his left hand and his right; already performing hand signs for his great fireball jutsu. He was about to blow a great..nothing. Nothing came out but a puff of air. He coughed at the sudden intake and expel of breath. The woman was startled by his reaction and went back inside, a child sat beside her screaming at the strange and furious man.

"SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!" she shouted. Izuna then advanced in on her and attempted to strike her personal machine. Still nothing happened, so he kept hitting it but only managing to form a dent and erasing some of its paint. "IZUNA!" Tobirama called out to him. They needed to leave this place. It wasn't right. Something went wrong with his jutsu. Something horrible. He ran over to him, splashing through the puddles of water and dodging more of those weird mechanical things.

"Don't touch me!" He shouted. "It's because of you that we're here!"

"Calm the fuck down!" They both turned to look at each other.

Some people have started to appear from inside buildings, shock displayed on each of their faces. Tobirama thought he had heard someone say "Someone call the police! There are nutty idiots out there fighting with swords in the middle of the street! They're about to get run over by cars!" Another one replied. "Don't tell me it's one of those deranged cosplayers again? Who let them outta the crackhouse?!" He couldn't tell if these people were enemies or not. They did not appear to be carrying weapons nor armors.

_Cars? Cosplayers? What?_

_Oh Kami, this is bad._

"We gotta get out of here. Now!"

That was all it took for them to get going.

"Told you they'd go away..." Someone had said faintly as they ran through the masses of 'cars' until they reached the other side where a forest appeared.

* * *

"FUCK YOU TOBIRAMA. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" They were hardly in the forest before the Uchiha had started blaming his fellow shinobi. Well, he did have every right to. This wasn't exactly part of Tobirama's plan and if he had to be honest with himself, he did not know what to expect. That was a mistake on his part. A significant mistake.

"Look, calm down. We have to go about this rationally-"

"RATIONALLY? You call what we just saw rational?" They were both still soaked in water and so was the canopy above them. "Where are we, Tobirama?" Izuna regained a serious composure.  _About Goddamn time._

"I...I don't know." It was already hard for Tobirama to admit he didn't know or understand something. Much less in front of an Uchiha. Izuna Uchiha no less. And accordingly, the other ninja did not let this slip by. He quirked his brow and said, "Are you telling me that  _the great Senju Tobirama_  does not know something?" He then laughed. Not the kind you would hear after a well-said joke. No, not that. It was the kind you would use when you face irony. A snicker. Or perhaps a snort. It didn't matter, it had no joy in it. Just plain disdain towards the person responsible for this situation. "You know, if this had been only you, I would be truly laughing with all my heart. But  _you dragged me_  into this. Why?"

"Because I felt like it. You were the perfect guinea pig."  _No use in lying now, is there?_ Tobirama replied with the utmost casual tone he could muster and crossed his arms while doing so. "There's a reason this was an experiment." He added, just to piss him off.

"Because you felt like it?" He repeated, as if what he had just said was incomprehensible, despite speaking the same language. Tobirama didn't even dignify that with a response. He decided on walking towards the heart of the forest instead. Izuna soon followed him, like a lost puppy.

"BECAUSE YOU FELT LIKE IT?"

_A lost and angry puppy._

_"_ Who do you take me for? A fool? Or an idiot?"  _Was that even a serious question?_ He couldn't tell, so he chose to answer him honestly, and as gently as he could.

"Both actually." He may not have tried to sugar coat it but at least he was honest. "Why you stuck up Senju BASTARD!-"

Tobirama then motioned him to shut up. He heard footsteps walking down their path, closing in on them. He was about to signal for them to scatter but then they came into view, their voices echoing through the empty woodland.

"...That  _IS NOT_  how you bake muffins!" Said one high-pitched voice.

"That is too!" Her friend replied.

"Wanna bet on it?"

They weren't paying attention to where they were walking and almost bumped into the two grown men. "Oh excuse us." The second voice apologized. And then everything fell dead silent. Both women.

There were two of them. A tall one and a shorter one. They were dressed just as funny as the other people they've seen up until now. But something was gnawing at Tobirama's mind. That perhaps he and Izuna were the ones out of place.  _And time._ Bits and pieces of information were starting to string together at the back of his mind.  _Things_  were beginning to make sense. Relatively. They did not wear kimonos like the others, only pants and variants of what he supposed were shirts. Hats too. One was carrying an umbrella above them. The two women retreated slowly and for a second there, he thought they might have made a break for it. Run in the opposite direction. But they didn't. They just stood there, eyeing both him and the Uchiha as if they were aliens. They might as well be.

"Yo, check this out. You seeing what I'm seeing?" The taller one called out for her friend.

"I believe so, yes." The short one with wavy brown hair, who looked awfully familiar to Tobirama for some reason, replied ever so formally.

"Good. Thought I was imagining things." The taller one however, looked like she didn't belong anywhere. Her orange hair was unnatural and he had never seen a hair-do like that on a woman.  _Was she wearing earrings? On her nose? Her eyebrows too?_ Truly strange. Izuna as well had found it particularly odd.

"I think it's time we take another route and pretend we never saw this." She spoke to her younger friend in a monotone.

"Yes, pretty much." The brunette agreed as they started to tiptoe backwards into the direction they came from, as inconspicuously as they thought was possible. Which made them look all the more conspicuous. Like robbers stumbling in on another robbery.

"You there. Don't move." Izuna ordered them which only resulted in a pair of eyebrows being raised.

"You mean us?" One of them said, pointing none-too subtly in their direction.

"Yes, you women. Where are we?" Tobirama demanded, taking over the interrogation from Izuna. Because that was what it was in his mind. An interrogation.

"Hey  _man,_ no need to go calling us by our gender. It's pretty obvious, dontcha think? That's why we have names." The one with the flaming orange hair answered. Her dialect bothered both of them. Among other things.

"What are your names?" He played along for the sake of it.

"Pfft, like we're gonna tell you." She rolled her eyes.  _Who did she think she was?_ It began to irritate him. And then her friend giggled before she full out cackled. She went into a delirious state, he couldn't understand what was so funny that almost had her on her knees, laughing to her heart's content.

"What's so funny?" His patience was nearing its end. He had no time to waste on such petty nuisances, no time to waste by being here. The sooner they got answers, the sooner they got to return back home.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry. HA! It's just that I didn't know that animecon was already being held. I must admit, your outfits are on point. Good job." She even went further by clapping. Why? He had no idea. Izuna was just as baffled.

"Where are we? Answer me. Now." No patience left. Too bad.

"On planet earth, fellow human." The ginger answered instead, her mocking voice was identical to Izuna's which only unnerved Tobi and perhaps even Izuna too. He didn't like being imitated.

"Do not test our patience. Tell us. NOW." Izuna finally spoke up, widening his eyes as he activated his sharingan. But whatever effect it should have had, it didn't. As both women looked to each other and then back to them, this time both of them were laughing. Tobirama then looked at Izuna himself and found that, indeed, his sharingans were not activated.

"Your eyes.." He tried to point them out but it distressed the Uchiha. "What's wrong with them? Tell me!" He was freaking out. It appeared none of his jutsu worked. First, the fireball and now his kekkei genkai. This could only mean that Tobirama's jutsu would also be ineffective.  _This was worse than I thought._

"Yo dude, I think you forgot the contacts." One of the girls pointed towards his eyes. "No, no, no. Tsk. It goes something like this. Wait for it. Drum-roll please..." The brunette began to shake off the water from her hair and clothes and then prepared to do something, from the looks of it. She closed her eyes tightly as her tall friend feigned drum roll sounds. In around three seconds, she shot her eyes wide open. Wider than usual.

"SHARINGAN!" She shouted. Her friend then burst into a fit of laughter. Izuna only became furious at their mockery but Tobirama's curiosity was at its peak. How did they know? If his assumptions were correct, then they shouldn't even know who and what they were. Every string that managed to connect points came tangled together. Every conjecture he'd made until now, which weren't much besides the fact that his experimental jutsu may have landed them in another world, would have to be assumed incorrect.

"Yo Mary, did it work? Tell me. Did I awaken the sharingan?" She was joking with her friend who was already bent over from laughing too hard. After a couple of minutes had passed, they seemed to have calmed down and so did Izuna. Which actually meant the opposite in his case. If anything, he may have started to connect the dots like Tobirama, but  _unlike_ him, he didn't know how to go about confronting them properly without the recourse for violence.

"Ouuf, you guys gave us a good laugh. Now go on, play time's over. Some people have real life to go back to." The one known as Mary told them.  _Was she shooing us off?_ Not on his watch. This only encouraged them to close in the distance between them which prompted the girls to put up their guards, all humor and mirth gone from their faces.

 _"Where. Are. We?_ " Tobirama repeated as he bent down to face the ginger head. She may have been tall, but he was taller.

"High Park. " She seemed confused now, like they should have known where they were. _Did she think that they have been joking all this time?_

"Wait, where are you  _really_  from?" The shorter one asked.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translation. Not necessarily literal, word for word translation, but rather a general sense of what is being said.
> 
> "Mina, let's go. They're utterly insane. Besides, we're getting late."
> 
> "Alright."

That was quite an awkward silence. Very awkward.

The four of them were staring at each other, trying to assess the situation.  _Just what exactly was the situation?_

"What's it to you?" Izuna snapped at the brunette. To which she casually ignored without much trouble. If his comment had gotten to her, she did not show it. Instead, she remained focused on Tobirama. Still expecting him to answer. He wasn't going to. He saw no reason to divulge where they came from. As if it wasn't obvious enough from the Hitai-ate they were wearing. Something Hashirama had come up with to distinguish the shinobi from their village in order to show off their pride and fealty. Tobirama chose to retain his happuri while most others chose the forehead protectors. All he had to change was the carving from his clan's symbol to the village's.

"Well?" She prodded. But the Senju would not give in. Instead, he needed more information out of them. So, he turned his focus to the little one.

"What country?" He demanded. He saw no difficulty in the core of the question, yet both girls seemed confused as if they weren't sure if that was a trick question or not.

"Canada?" She answered.  _Was she not sure of her response? How could she not be certain of where her country laid?_ More importantly, what was a 'Canada'? He had never heard of such a country. As far as his knowledge went, and Izuna's as well. There were five countries up to date; The Fire Country, The Wind, The Earth, The Lightening and The Water country. All lands governed by the Daimyos. The great feudal lords. But then again, didn't Tobirama just come to the conclusion that he was no longer in his world?

He had a tough time grasping such an idea. And so did Izuna. As it appears.

"What's a Canada?"

_Or not._

"The land you're standing on? The air you're breathing maybe?" The taller girl answered, skeptical. Her brows were furrowed in a manner that made her look more annoyed than she was perplexed. She turned to her young friend and said, * _"Mina. Allons-y. Ils sont_ _complètement dingues. Et on est déjà en retard."_

_What on earth was she speaking? What kind of language was that?_ Tobirama thought. As each second passed, he only became more and more astonished by the things he saw and heard. Her friend seemed to hesitate but eventually agreed with whatever she said. * _"D'accord."_

Tobirama began to comprehend the gist of things. It seemed that they shared a language. One in which they could communicate solely with each other. It wasn't until then he finally understood what they were saying. Both of them began to step back slowly, while Mary moved her right hand behind her back, as if reaching for a weapon.

"Mina, on my count, we run. Got it?"

_Mina, was it? Hmm.._

_That name though._

Tobirama was sure he heard it somewhere, but couldn't recall the exact moment in his life where he could have met someone with that moniker. Which said a lot, considering Tobirama had a  _very good_  memory.

"Gotcha." The so-called Mina replied. He couldn't help but wonder whether they thought all of this was some sort of joke or something. They were about to make a run for it. However, Izuna beat them to it. Before Mary could mouthe out the third number, his Uchiha partner already grabbed her by her arms. What a grave error.

"Where do you think you're going?" Izuna barely had the time to taunt them before the woman brought out a can from behind her back and sprayed a sort of vaporized liquid straight into his eyes.

"Aieee, run Mina!" She was laughing while Izuna stumbled back, trying to wipe the spray away. From the looks of it, it was causing him irritation.

"BITCH!" He shouted, voice dripping with venom.  _Dammit!_

While both Mary and Mina already had an early start, Tobirama wasn't far behind. Mary was already racing her friend. He did not expect to have his agility or speed that he was gifted with back in his world, but he was no walking tortoise. Maybe it was fate or just his dumb luck, even if he didn't believe in it, but one of them staggered. The brunette, Mina, tripped over a wet pebble and fell face-first to the ground. Her friend on the other hand ran on. Until she realized something was amiss. Tobirama caught on to the ill-fated woman pretty quickly. He hovered over her, his katana out and directed at the base of her throat as she turned on her back. With one move, he could just...

"Oh my God, Mina! Get up!" She cried out for her partner. While Mina did indeed have several chances to strike back and unbalance the white-haired Senju, like perhaps kicking his shin for example, she did not. She only gazed up at the towering figure. Slightly shocked and amazed at the sight of him. He could not understand why. Izuna soon followed, appearing right at Tobirama's side. His eyes were bloodshot. Extremely red. Not his pupils, no. His sharingans did not activate. It was rather his sclera and the cornea that were inflamed. His eyelids were also swollen. Probably as a result of that spray. He looked like a child who was crying all night long because his favorite toy was taken away. Otherwise, he seemed normal. Aside from the rage that was building up inside of him. For the mere moment that he was lost in thought, he felt a solid and hard object hit his head. Thankfully, he was wearing his happuri. It still hurt nonetheless.

_A rock._

His glare followed the direction from which it was thrown. The orange haired brat was collecting rocks only to throw it at him.

"Holy shit! Get your lazy ass off the ground you dummy!"

_What a great way to talk to your friend._

"Let me take care of her." Izuna spoke in a hushed voice, his undertone was pretty obvious. At the sight of Izuna taking a step towards her direction, Mary backed up.

"Wait." Tobirama told him. He raised his arm, stopping Izuna from going any further by blocking his way. The Uchiha did not seem to appreciate that. As much as he could understand Izuna's thirst for vengeance, there was still a certain, yet invisible, line they could not cross. He sheathed his katana. And she took that as a sign to finally gather herself, to stand up on her own two feet. All the while Izuna was glaring at him.

"What are you doing?!" He hissed.

"Not trying to attract more attention by murdering her right here." He stated simply. But apparently it was not simple enough for Izuna. As he still persisted on catching the other girl who was now just standing there. A mere spectator in a background painted with shades of reds and yellows and every hue in between. One could say that she was nearly camouflaged by the the leaves that were growing more and more colorful. She fitted in perfectly with the colors of autumn.

_"Izuna!"_  Tobirama's voice was barely a notch above a whisper and yet it commanded as much authority as it did when he shouted. Meanwhile, Mina was dusting herself, brushing off any dirt. There were vi0sible scrapes and grazes on her skin a a result of the friction with the asphalt. The impulsive man-child turned to face the older 'gentleman'.

"She could have permanently damaged my eyes!" He countered.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Tobirama asked. He always knew when to hit the right spots at the right time. While Tobirama's initial intentions were to calm Madara's foolish younger brother, it appeared that he was having the opposite effect.

"Relax, it's just pepper spray. Its effects only last from twenty to forty-five minutes." Mina interrupted them. "Though, now that you say it...perhaps in excessive doses, it could cause quite some damage. Huh?" She appeared to be in deep contemplation. What a weird specimen. She acted completely normal, as if two strangers had not just tried to mow them down and attempt to kill them.

"I know in rare cases of certain studies, those who breathe it in...well it may lead to acute hypertension. Thus, increasing the risks of heart attacks or strokes. So, I wouldn't suggest breathing it in. Furthermore, common side-" A pale hand slapped her mouth shut.

"Can't you shut up? You think this is a good time to be talking about the effects of damn pepper spray in front of some whack jobs?!" Mary, who apparently traveled by the speed of light, was behind her friend, her hand still placed over Mina's mouth. Izuna saw this as his chance to get hold of the quirky woman but Tobirama obstructed his movements.

_"Move."_  There was a hint of Madara's anger and assertiveness in Izuna's speech, or rather demand. He was threatening alright. Threatening Tobirama of falling over the edge out of laughter. He had to contain himself. The image of the once renowned and feared man that was Uchiha Izuna, the same one standing right before him right that moment, was the exact definition of a what it is to be a laughing stock. The butt of a joke. A dupe. A spectacle. Izuna's red, swollen eyes and blotched face was a sight to be held. One that will forever be imprinted in Tobi's mind. All things aside, it did look quite serious. Almost like an allergic reaction.

"No. Think this through." He warned the raging man. First, they needed to find a way to treat Izuna's worsening symptoms. He turned to face the pair of women who were now arguing among themselves. He was almost certain that they would have run away by now. To have taken advantage of the time when he turned his back to them.

"I apologize for the intrusion." His deep voice halted their bickering, both Mary and Mina turned to face the owner of such vocals. Before they could say anything, he asked. "How do you treat  _'pepper spray'_?"

"Like we're gonna tell you." Boy, did he already dislike that tall one. She was snappy. Too snappy for his tastes. She narrowed her eyes, trying her hardest to glare at him. Though, it did not have any effect on Tobirama, it did get to Izuna. Who was already having a hard time standing in one place. Like he was blind.  _Ironic._

Mary then grabbed her friend by the arm and dragged her away, into the opposite direction. This time, Tobirama did not make a move to after them. Izuna couldn't even if he wanted to. Mina turned her face around for a last glance, while still being hauled away.

"Temporary blindness is a common symptom!" She shouted back. "Eye pain and a burning throat too! He has to wash his eyes using soap! Or try blinking rapidly might flush the spray out. There's a pond near-" They were out of sight. No longer in his field of vision.

_Great._

* * *

"What are we doing here?!" The agitation was clear in Izuna's voice. Abundantly clear.

"Trying to get your sorry face to clear up." Tobirama retorted. It appeared to be night now. And they had found that pond that she mentioned right before leaving. It was a happy accident. Completely coincidental.

"Let me inform you, in case you've forgotten, we wouldn't be in this stupid mess if it weren't for your equally stupid experiment!" Izuna had to remind him. As if he would forget. Ever.

"So, with that being clear, your sarcastic and satirical comments are of no value to me. It would be highly appreciated if you stopped enunciating them. Agreed?" Izuna wore a very, very unsettling smile. His voice took a turn for the worst. It was icy and quite hostile. This was the Izuna he knew.  _Finally. He's back._

_"Hmph.."_ Tobirama muttered. He crossed his arms and looked up at the night sky. There were barely any stars visible. Too much light sources around this area, despite being in the center of a forest, there was still too much light emissions by the surroundings that it utterly masked the heavenly orbs. All but one. The moon was clearly visible as the sun was during the day. However, it appeared to be much larger than he remembered. This 'phenomenon' never happened back in his world.

Izuna's face returned to normal. Somewhat. She was right. It did take nearly forty minutes till the effects and symptoms appeared to alleviate. They did everything she said save for the soap part. Where would they have found soap in the middle of a woodland? They had to make due with what they had. And that was pond water. Green. And dark. It was off-putting. He wasn't sure it would have had any effect, but as luck would have it, Izuna's vision was still blurry and hazy back then, so he did not see the water clearly. They had no choice but use it. And use it they did.

It has been more than two hours that they've been sitting there. Not knowing what to do. They were lost. Unbelievably lost. Even Tobirama. He was perhaps more lost and confused than Izuna was. He had very few things to go on.

_Cars._

_Police._

_Outfits._

_Anime convention._

_Unknown language._

_Canada._

Each single one of those words astonished him. With each term was an incidence attached to it. Meaningful incidences, but he just couldn't understand why.  _What was this world?_ Tobirama's thoughts were in shambles. And it was driving him mad. Mad because he had no way of getting to know anything. Not from the so-called pair of women he met earlier. They were gone now and he had no way of finding them. He couldn't sense any chakra radiating from...anything. This was not normal. Not to him anyways. Maybe it also had something to do with the fact that both he and Izuna had lost their powers.

The only reason that he did not run after them again was because...he actually didn't know why. He also didn't understand why the one named Mina insisted on helping them. She was unafraid of them. As witnessed by her lack of reactions when she had a sword ready to slit her throat open. Her general sense of fright was nonexistent. But there was something odd about her. Something strange. He saw some sort of familiarity in her eyes. As if she too felt that same gnawing feeling he has had since laying his eyes on her. Like they knew each other. How? Or why? Or when? He didn't think there was a definitive answer for any of them.

And how did she know about the sharingan?

This did not coincide with his current conundrum.

"I hope you have a plan of getting out of here." Izuna said.  _Hmm..._

"I do not."

"Wow, aren't you just helpful?" The Uchiha had it with Tobirama's attitude. "You know, if I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would have just farted."

"Isn't it hard to fart out of your face?" Tobirama questioned. He'd play along if Izuna wanted to so badly. He could see the younger man twitch, just slightly.

"Not as hard as your petty existence." A weak clap-back but still a clap-back.

Tobirama stood up and began walking in the south-bound direction, with no pre-meditated plan whatsoever. It wasn't like him. He always had a back-up. He heard footsteps right behind him.

"At least tell me where you're going." His rival pointed out. He couldn't tell him because he genuinely didn't know. His weapons felt heavy all of a sudden even if he was dried by now. He felt heavier himself as if he gained a tremendous amount of weight in such a short amount of time. Ever since landing here, he had been feeling this undeniable tug towards the earth. It was as if gravity was pulling him down with much more force than he was used to.

"What is it?"

"Do you feel it too?" He asked him. Izuna was confused momentarily but he understood what Tobirama was referring to.

"Yeah, it's as if I swallowed a hundred pounds worth of rocks." Izuna's words painted pictures, not all of which were pretty.  _The gravitational pull here is more stronger than it was back in our world_ , Tobirama thought. He didn't know why or how, but that was the conclusion he came up with. He must have lost track of time because he felt as if he had been walking forever. He wasn't sure if they were walking around in circles or not, everything looked the same at night. He noticed a few baskets here and there, more benches encircled this weird forest and... _lamp posts?_

They were definitely lamp posts.

They eventually reached this weird fencing area filled with un-cropped weed and poison ivy crawling up the metal beds. As they were about to bypass the fence, a sudden red light blinded them and a long wooden joist came down, cutting off their path to the other side. And then more ringing. But this was much louder and higher pitched. The sound was becoming stronger and louder as something approached them. They stepped back, fearing what monstrous catastrophe could befall them. However, it didn't. It passed them by. Without even a mind to their existence. They were startled. This- this unknown thing was rolling by on and on, never-ending. They saw people within this machine, sitting down, unknowing of their presence either. A machine Tobirama assumed must have been like a car. But infinitely larger and much faster. There was a painted logo on the metal surface of this machine. 'Train-star'. Or so it read, he wasn't sure if it was correct, seeing that it was moving undeniably quick.

While it may have seemed that it would never stop, it eventually did. And so did the lights all while the wooden joist was lifted. By itself. Tobirama could see no one in the surrounding area that was in control of it. It was utterly creepy at how things moved by themselves.

"Let's go." Izuna was already ahead of him, urging him to move forward in case another machine passed by.

They walked and walked and walked. Until they found themselves on a street lined by more cars on either side. But the houses were the main spectacle. They were huge and vastly different from the little homes they were accustomed to. Other than that. there was not a single soul on the street. It was only Izuna and him. They stood there in the middle of the street, wondering just how the hell they got there. Izuna would say Tobirama. Tobiriama would respond by well...Tobirama. It all came down to him and some miscalculation. And he was paying the price for it. As well as Izuna, who still could not comprehend the purpose of him being here.

For the longest while they heard nothing but the howling wind and the fluttering leaves of the ornamental trees. Then, out of the blue, came out a tiny woman with a large black sack in her hands. She was strolling down her front yard, dragging the bag which looked like it was half her size. Though, she did not seem to care about the weight she was carrying as she was too busy... _dancing?_

Tobirama's eye-sight may not have been top-notch but he could faintly see the weirdly distorted movements. In fact, he could see her face and boy did it ring a few bells in his mind. Once again, Uchiha Izuna beat him to it. He placed a choke-hold around Tobirama's neck in a swift move and spoke.

"You think I'm gonna let you hold me back this time you crazy dickhead."

_Uh-oh._

_"_ I'm going in, you're welcome to tag along." He let go of the Senju stick and darted towards one of the houses, attempting to hide behind one of the garbage cans. Mina, which happened to be a fortunate run-in at this time of night, was in for the surprise of her life.

Izuna would see to that.

 


	3. Part 3

_"You are the bane of my existence, Uchiha Izuna."_

If Izuna had a ryo for each time someone had expressed to him those exact words in that exact order, he would have been the richest man in the world. Maybe he should start charging people for the insults they throw at him. Though, this wasn't the time to start demanding money from Tobirama. This was the time to shut up. He made that very clear.

As for the moment, both grown men were hiding behind a large dumpster. No, it was more of cylindrical metallic structure with a lid. Izuna had no doubt that there was trash inside just from the horrid smell alone. So, yes. A dumpster. Tobirama, for his part, was against this idea from the start. But then again, what choice did he have? There he was, stuck in a strange world with an abominable creature he didn't know how to get rid of. On second thought, getting rid of Izuna may not be such a good idea. Two is better than one, no? Even if that extra one happened to be Madara's nincompoop of a brother. A part of him actually sympathized with Izuna, having to grow up under none other than Uchiha Madara's wing, well, someone was bound to get fucked.

Poor, poor Izuna.

However, Tobirama had his own share of problems that came in the form of Hashirama. So, why didn't anyone ever sympathize with him?  _Focus Tobirama._ He scolded himself as he hunched over his pal, looking in both directions watching out for any passersby. More importantly, making sure the people who reside in the house behind them don't come out and beat them to death or think that they were robbers or something. Oh no, it wasn't like that. They were just planning a break-in and entering the home of a young woman two houses down. Nothing to fear, they were specially trained shinobi, the best in their respective fields. Professionals, you might say.

Tobirama couldn't think of something more dishonest or more lewd than what they were doing right now. This didn't sit well by him but if it meant that they had the slightest of chances in knowing anything about a way on how to get back home, then he didn't mind being the first one through the door to tackle the woman to the ground, forcing her to talk. But there was a problem, there was no certainty in this whole ordeal. They were not sure that she even knew how they could get back. All they had to go on was Tobirama's eerie sense of familiarity about her and Izuna's thirst for revenge on her little lady friend. This was definitely not going to end well for either of them. The Senju could feel it in the depths of his bones. Izuna on the other hand, was feeling the trash can with every inch of his body.

"You stink." Tobirama noted.

"Yeah, well if you stopped pinning me against the garbage, I wouldn't be smelling like one." His companion was seething; not just with cat piss, rotten eggs. spoiled milk and putrid noodles- that Tobirama was beginning to suspect as everything else but noodles-, but with anger. Red, hot anger.

"Shut up." Tobi forcibly ducked both their heads as one of those cars passed by, its headlights shone bright.

"Okay, it's gone. Let's go." He ushered for the literal trashy Uchiha to follow him. They were slowly walking on some sort of grass. It didn't look like natural grass though.  _It must be the front yard or their lawn._ The lamp-posts weren't making this any less difficult. They could be easily seen from where they were standing. They had to move quick.

"Stop." He heard Izuna call out to him from behind.

"What is it?" He hissed back. He saw that he was gesturing for them to head through the backyards. It might just work, though they would have to take the risk of getting caught. There was always a chance that they could bump into the residents of the house but who could possibly be awake at this time of night? The older of the pair did not have another second to mull it over as Izuna begun walking towards the house itself. He was right on his tail, making sure to duck every time they approached a window. The lights inside were off. A good sign. How long would they stay off? That would depend on how much self-restraint the Uchiha had. The dead leaves rustled under their feet as each step they took got them closer to their target.

Izuna stopped all of a sudden. With the area being dark, Tobirama couldn't see well and nearly crashed into him.

"Move it." He ordered. However, Izuna was long since gone kicking the trash can to the side.  _So, that was what he had bumped into?_

"I always knew you were trash, but you're taking this to a whole new level Izuna." _At this rate, he''ll be attracting the hobos of the district with that smell._

_"Go fuck yourself, Tobirama."_ He cursed through clenched teeth, still hunched over from the impact. They were back on track with Izuna at the lead. Each of them did their best to hide themselves in the darkness by sticking to the fences. Their footsteps were as light as feathers, but with the pace they were going, they would not reach her house until the morning. Out of the blue-

Tobirama placed his hand on Izuna's shoulder and the latter turned to face him only to meet a hand rapidly slapping his mouth shut, effectively shushing him. He followed his gaze to the side. To the house. And that's when he saw it. A kid. A little boy was watching them intently as they made their way through his backyard, he was silent. _How long had he been-?_ The child was holding a stuffed animal as he had a perfect view of their escapade from the second story window. He still hasn't said anything, he didn't scream, he didn't alert his parents, he just...stood there, staring at them. Izuna unclasped Tobi's hands off his mouth and mimicked his very same motion. He brought up his own fingers and signaled the kid to remain quiet for a while longer.

_"Hey kid. Shhh."_  He whispered and to his one-time rival, "We have to make a run for it. We can't risk having other people see us." For once, Tobirama actually agreed and that was when they made a run for it. Izuna went first and when he had reached the large wooden fences, he bounced off Tobirama's palms in order to jump over the hurdles. It was an unspoken agreement, since he was taller than Izuna, well- it goes without saying. Besides, it would have been an easy climb for Tobirama. They didn't dare look back at the kid, not knowing whether he was even still there. They didn't want to know whether he had called others over, they did not want to get caught. So, they moved on, with a faster pace now. Until they came to another barrier where they had to repeat the same thing over and over.

These fences separated the houses from each other, dividing the properties to each respective owner. It was like the whole neighborhood had been planned right before its execution. It was well organized, methodical, orderly and neat.  _Perhaps there is a thing or two we could learn from here,_ Tobirama thought.

"Come on, last time." Izuna informed him, though he was skeptical. He was starting to doubt that they were actually at the right house. As Izuna jumped over, he did the same. If this turned out to be the wrong home, then he saw no way where they could get out of this unharmed.

"Calm down, this is the right house, I'm almost certain." He tried to reassure the anxious man. The fact that Izuna Uchiha tried to reassure someone of anything always meant the opposite. That man was not to be trusted, ever. Madara would surely agree.

They walked up to the darkened residence. They could see faint light from deep within the house but there was no sign of the girl. They looked through the window, tried to peep through any holes they could find, still the curtains blocked most of their view. This was getting them nowhere, that must have been the thought running through the Uchiha's head as he tried to force the window open.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Tobirama almost lost his mind when he saw that the idiot was about to break the windows so he could get in.

"What? Do you have another solution?" He retorted. Yes, yes he did. Just then Tobirama opened the screen door allowing them an easier way to break in. It astounded him, how one could lock the windows but forget to close the back door.

"Oh, well isn't that simple." Izuna pushed his way in, knocking Tobirama to the side.

"You should be grateful you little runt." He shouted at the reckless douche.

"And you should be quiet. Lock the door."

He did. And with that, they both began tip-toeing through the dim-lit halls, careful as not to alarm her.

"So, what is the plan?" Tobirama asked. When he did not receive an answer straight away, he thought Izuna must not have heard him. He repeated, "What's the pla-"

"I don't know. I figured you would come up with one." That comment was one he would never forget. It pretty much summed up Izuna Uchiha in a nutshell.

"This was your idea! How do  _you_  not have a plan?!" Without knowing, his voice was rising as anger built up within him. He should have known. He should have known since the start. Whenever he tried to outplay the runt, he was always the one who found himself with a headache. Trying to use him as his guinea pig was no different. Something just had to go wrong and he almost always ended up paying the price along with him. And now, now...  _He didn't even bother with coming up with a plan?!_ This guy couldn't have been the second-in-command of his clan, not with this much brain capacity and the lack of common sense or decency. No. He must be acting this way with Tobirama just to fuck with him. Screw with his mind, if you will.

"Be quiet." Izuna reiterated.

Footsteps. They heard footsteps coming down the stairs. From their standpoint, which was directly under the staircase that led to the first floor, they had nowhere else to hide that wouldn't have uncovered their position.

"Stop pushing!" Izuna whined. "Shut your trap or I'll push that head of yours through the wall." He shot back, his fingers tugged at the black locks, already pushing his head to the slanted wall and gradually adding pressure. Izuna's face was contorted in a way that he could not utter a word without risking breaking his jaws. Which worked well for both of them, not to mention the fact that Tobirama secretly enjoyed this. Seeing him in pain gave him this relief that he had not felt in a while.

The footsteps got closer. So, close they could feel it above their heads. He was sweating.  _This is bad. Really bad._  This was like no reconnaissance mission he had done before. No infiltration mission was ever this hard. He had never lost his cool like this either.  _Calm down, Tobirama, calm down._

So close.

She was humming. So far, so good. She had not noticed their presence as of yet. Step after step, she had already reached ground level.  _This was it, she is surely-_ She utterly missed them. Hell, she didn't even walk down this hallway. Instead, she took a right on the next corridor and disappeared from their peripheral vision. He finally let out a breath he never knew he was holding. Albeit, his grip on Izuna never slackened. He heard her less and less as she got further. A few minutes had passed before he decided that it was safe enough to let go of his hair. Once he did, a hand steadily pushed him back as the man in question rubbed the side of his face that was embracing the wall.

They each looked in both directions, sure that there was no one else following them. The rest of the house seemed dark except the room that she had entered. The glow from that chamber lit the near halls. He could see vases and flowers on multiple dressers. Frameworks hung over the off-whitish walls; some of which contained obscure paintings and others were nothing more than oddly cropped pictures.

Before he knew it, Izuna had already made it past the stairs and stood near the arched doorway, sneaking a glance every now and then.

_Dammit!_

What was he doing? Should he have followed him? No. Did he have a choice? No. Did he regret it? Yes. But still, the sight amazed him.

She was dancing in practically nothing. What he supposed were shorts were, well-  _inappropriately short._ It barely covered her thighs. And her shirts was abnormally long, going well past her buttocks. Though her misguided appearance should have been the most bizarre thing about her, it was nothing compared to her dancing. And humming. No- singing.

_"Lala-lala la,_   
_Warm it up._   
_Lala-lala la,_   
_The boys are waiting"_

She was synchronously moving to whatever she was listening to. There was this strange headpiece attached to her ears and connected to a red wire that was tucked in her shorts along with her shirt. From the front, he saw that the white shirt was worn-out and whatever image it had on was gone from over-washing. Although, he still saw a few unwashed letters, with a lightning bolt in between the AC and the DC

_AC/DC?_

Her gyrating hips were spinning out of control, literally. The fuck was she doing?

_"My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,_   
_And they're like,_   
_Its better than yours,_   
_Damn right its better than yours,_   
_I can teach you,_   
_But I have to charge"_

Her singing was getting creepier and creepier, Tobirama didn't understand a word she was saying. But he couldn't have said the same for Izuna, he heard small giggles escape his lips.  _What was so funny?_ He had to wonder.

"Stop laughing or we'll get caught!"

"I...I don't-  _Ha!_ \- think she could hear us, Tobirama." Izuna's giggles were slowly turning into chuckles. _Huh?_ He took another look at the hysterical woman. She was out of control; flailing her arms like a deranged Hashirama as she shook her head frantically in both directions. She began repeating the same verse as before but this time, Tobirama was not concentrating on her lyrics. He was rather focused on her suggestive dance moves. Suggestive, was it?

She was bent over shaking her ass.

The good manners he grew up with and that were instilled in his brain was telling him to look away, but he couldn't force his eyes to. A part of him knew this was wrong, especially that she didn't even know that they were present. Yet, he just couldn't. When the moment arises, one could not bear to look away from an ass jiggle.  _One should not look away._

_"Mah milk shake BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD!"_ Her voice was getting considerably louder. Very loud. But so was Izuna's. He didn't think she was aware of her own volume.

"I bet it does, heh." He heard him say in between laughs.

"Hey, what does that mean?" Tobirama was genuinely curious. What could possibly be bringing all the boys to her yard? As a matter of fact, he hated milkshakes, so for sure he wouldn't have ran to her yards just for a glass of milkshake.  _I guess, if it is that good as she claims, then I would like to try it._ Though, he would have to pick a number. A line probably awaited him.

_"And they're like,_  
 _Its better than yours,"_  
She was considerably sweating as she straightened herself and gave an air kick so high it would have reached Tobi's height. So, she was flexible too?.

_"Damn right its better than yours,_   
_I can teach you,_   
_But I have to charge!"_

After what seemed like an eternity, Mina finally settled down, pulling out the headpieces from her ears as she took in a deep breath.

"Ouf! Well I've exercised enough for today." She wiped sweat off her forehead as she walked towards the... _fridge?_ Upon closer inspection, Tobirama realized that this was the kitchen. When he looked further, he could also see what he supposed was the living room. Their couches were weirdly shaped. Countless artifacts of all shapes and colors adorned the walls. There were also more paintings and framed pictures hung all around.

She opened the refrigerator door and rummaged around for something to eat. All the while, the Uchiha was struggling to keep his mouth shut. His laughter was getting out of control just as her dancing was. Tobirama had to silence him once more by cupping his mouth, it wasn't enough to stop him. The man lost all grip on reality. As she ransacked her kitchen like an animal, he was also working hard at keeping another animal at bay. He may have been failing, but she certainly wasn't. She gobbled down everything in her path. Most notably, cartons upon cartons of cereals and chocolate and- _Kami, how could she eat so much?!_ What a coincidence, she also happened to go for a jug of milk from the refrigerator. In a moment of weakness on his part, Izuna broke free- breaking out into another fit of giggles- and tripped on the rug, falling a feet in front. Within visible distance of her.  _Uh-oh._  Panic began to rise in him. In Izuna as well, since he had stopped laughing. Both of them froze, not knowing what to do. Afraid that a single movement of theirs would alert her of their presence. She was still chugging down the jug of milk carelessly, spilling the white juice all over her shirt.

They were stuck. Like a still-motion picture. Izuna was crouched over, hands outstretched in front of himself in a last-minute attempt to prevent collision with the floor. Tobirama was no better, frozen like a statue; he was on one knee, one of his hands on Izuna's ankle while his head poked out of the hallway unceremoniously. It was as if time had stopped. Not a second went by. Only the sweat beads formed under his happuri were falling to the ground slowly but surely. It was agonizing to listen to the sound of every drop. His right eye began twitching.

She had closed the door.

_Fuck._

He dared to turn his head around to see her. She- who goes by the name Mina- was standing there silently. Just like that child. Silence never meant anything good. The jug still in her hand, her demeanor was similar to theirs; frozen in time and place. A painfully awkward silence hung over them. Tobirama wasn't sure how much time had passed. Were it mere seconds, a couple of minutes or a few days? It was confusing.

At the end, all it took was a fraction of a second for the reflex to kick in. To him, it was as if he was seeing it in slow motion, seeing the white drops expelled from her mouth; one after another as they diffused through the air and came in contact with their faces, splashing onto them. She had spit a mouthful of milk- that she appeared to have stored in her mouth- as a distraction. And then she ran.

Everything that occurred after that moment was like a rush in time.

Izuna was the first to react, getting up to his feet only to end up slipping on the spilled milk from the broken jug.

_"HEY WAIT UP, DON'T YOU WANT TO SHOW ME HOW GOOD YOUR MILKSHAKE IS?!_  Izuna still had the audacity to taunt her even as he was soaked in disgusting milk. Tobirama wasn't losing any time. He took this chance to jump over him and cut the distance between her and them.

"GET OUT." He heard her shout from somewhere down the hall. He was running after her and Izuna wasn't too far behind. He gestured for him to take the right side of the house while he took the left. Splitting up would increase their chances of finding her. The lack of light throughout the house was disturbing as it was not making it any easier to find her. This should have been relatively easy. But it was not.

Without their powers- their visual prowess or their incredible sensory abilities- they were blind as bats in the dark. Except, unlike bats, they did not have echo-locating abilities. They had their eyes and that was just about it. They also had their noses which proved to be valuable for Tobirama. He could smell the stench of her sweat and that was what partly led to her. Her clumsiness and tactless nature was a dead-giveaway, so his ears also played a part. It was a bit foreign to him, to fall back on the most basic sensations after being gifted with chakra...it didn't feel right to him.

He was careful with his steps, so he too does not make the fatal mistake of tripping on a carpet. The corridors here were confusing. One room led to another which in turn led to another hallway. It was a never ending loop. Izuna must have been helpless on his end. Tobirama was beginning to feel lost as well but he persisted on following the scent of her distinctive sweat. It was the only thing he had to go on.

The scent was growing stronger.  _I must be on the right track._ He squinted his eyes, trying to take in more light so he could see his way out of this. And to avoid crashing into dressers. He came to an intersection. Pausing for a second, he thought it out thoroughly. His guts were telling him to go left while his nose; to the right.

_Hmm..._

_To the right it is._

As soon as he took the turn, he was faced with a wooden sliding door. There was shuffling inside. So, he was right to follow his nose. He slid it open, and while it was darker than he had imagined, he could see the outline of her figure.

_"Found-_

"Found her!" Izuna shouted from the other side. It turns out he, too, arrived at the same conclusion. As soon as he opened the door, he took in Tobirama's presence. "Oh, there you are." Though, his focus didn't remain long on the white-haired man. The poor woman, was hiding behind a desk in the center of what turned out to be a study, dropped something to the ground. It rung as it made contact with the wooden floor.

She gasped. _"How on earth did you even find my house?!"_

"Doesn't matter."

She grabbed a book from the surface and flung it at Izuna's head, she took the opportunity to brush past him. It didn't delay him for as long as she hoped. He grabbed her arms roughly and yanked her back.

"Where is she?!" He barked, still reeling from the raw hit to his skull. He was referring to the red-head who nearly blinded him earlier on in the day.

"Let me go! I swear I called the police! They'll be here in no time, you ass!" She had a hard time releasing his grip on her, doing everything in her power to get way. Scratching him until the skin on his arm shed was one of those ways. Even so, it did not seem to faze Izuna in the slightest.

_"I SAID WHERE IS SHE?!"_

_"Izuna!"_ It was time for Tobirama to interrupt their little comical sketch. In doing so, he unknowingly stole Izuna's attention off of her, giving her time and leverage to kick him in the balls. The wretched and unsuspected man fell to the floor grabbing his crotch in pain. His face was the epitome of agony, its physical embodiment. It was a glorious sight yet heart-wrenching as Tobirama could not imagine dealing with the same kind of blow to his own precious jewels. At times like these, his armor was his best friend.

_"Why...you.."_ The stricken Uchiha could barely take his breath. Whether that was directed at the fleeing woman or at Tobirama; it was unclear.

"Get up." Tobirama told him as he went after the woman; this time her footsteps were loud, echoing through the halls.

He took a right at the next hall, then a left and another left until he found himself back in the kitchen. She was skipping up the stairs though she was out of luck. Izuna had taken a short cut and managed to latch on to her just in time. Grabbing both her ankles, he dragged her down but she was determined not to let him take her even as she laid on the staircase flopping like a headless chicken. Her arms were mercilessly glued to the wooden beams as supports.

"Let me go!" She tried to kick Izuna but he was considerably stronger.

_"Izuna that's enough!"_ He tried to pull the crazed him off of her. This wasn't how it was supposed to go down. _None of this was supposed to happen!_

_"No! She..is..going-urgh- to..tell me...where that bitch is!"_

_"_ Over my dead body you creep!" She spat back.

This was ridiculous. It was like trying to separate two equally bull-headed children fighting over a toy. He was losing his-

The front door shot open and everything suddenly went blank. All three heads turned to the source of the interruption. Tobirama was half expecting to see the so-called police but no, he was met with this tall, lanky figure with tousled brown hair. He was identical to the lady they were trying to- Well, he could only hope it did not look as bad as people might wonder. Izuna still refused to get off of her, while Tobirama refused to let Izuna go. They were stacked upon each other like a deck of cards.

The man who was standing at the doorstep did not come in. He stood there motionless, eating a chip ever so slowly as he attempted to make sense of the sight before him. A minute went by and then two, at the third; he finally decided to speak. The bag in his hand was practically empty by the time he muttered his first words.

_"Sooooo...I don't know what kind of movie this is but I think I'm gonna leave. Uhm, bye...sis."_ That was the statement he decided to leave her with as he took off, closing the door behind him. Tobirama was shocked, but definitely relieved.

"NO WAIT IVAN COME BACK HERE. HELP, YOU LITTLE-!" Her eyes were wide with horror.

"Well, looks like even your own brother doesn't care what happens to you." A sinister smirk appeared on Izuna's lips.

" _Come close to me and I'll fart in your face!"_

"I'd like to see that happen, you depraved woman!"

_What was he thinking, that twat?_  Goading her like that. Does he want another kick to his balls? He could end up saying goodbye to his testicles. Permanently, this time. The look of determination in her eyes was terrifying.  _"Get off of her, Izuna!"_ He was struggling in getting Izuna's grip on her waist to loosen.  _Wait, weren't his hands just on her ankles right now?_ How the hell was Tobirama having trouble in overpowering this puny kid? The armor that he was wearing was getting heavier as he found it more difficult to move.

_"Argh!"_

He heard her scream as she tried to lift three hundred pounds of men off of her. And she was... _succeeding?_ She was more sturdy than she looked. It appears that both of them had severely underestimated her strength. Suddenly, they both were tipped over with Tobirama acting as a cushion for Izuna's fall.

_"Ooof!"_ He exhaled as all the air was nearly knocked out of him. Before they caught their breaths and found their balance, she was back with a pair of  _extremely large_  butcher knives; one in each hand.

"You two idiots, how did you find me? ANSWER ME!" She was angry all right. Fuming. Her face was red. Her ears and nose, too. What was worse was that her hands were shaking unsteadily. She should not be holding those knives, this only made her more dangerous.

"Calm down." Tobirama tried to advise her in his cool, detached tone. It had the opposite effect though as it only rattled her chains even more. Things were getting worse by the second.

"I SAID ANSWER ME!" She shouted. Izuna, on his behalf, did not give two fucks. His hands went to the tilt of his sword, ready to unsheathe it. Tobirama glared at him, telling him to stand down. They weren't getting anywhere with violence.

"Both of you, get back."

They did as they were told. As she stepped forward, they stepped backwards.

"Leave your swords. Drop them to the floor. NOW!"

Again,they followed her command and relinquished their weapons. All the while they had been retreating. Retreating and retreating until their backs touched a wall.  _No- a door?_

"Open the door behind you and get in." This time, they were reluctant to do as she said. In that moment, as they mulled it over, she had thrown one of the knives at them. Her aim was perfect. It penetrated the door, settling right in between their heads. Izuna was beginning to regret ever letting go of his katana.

"Open it." She repeated, There was no hesitancy this time. Tobirama turned the knob, unlatching the door while Izuna took the first step in. What a mistake that was.  _This wasn't a room. This was the basement._  Only then did Tobirama realize it as he listened to Izuna tumbling down the stairs painfully. A vulgar curse word here and there.

"You too." She was directly talking to him now. He obeyed and followed Izuna's footfall. Though, he learned from his predecessor's mistakes and like a dignified man that he was, he walked down the steps unhurriedly. The door shut behind them and the bang resonated through the damp under-ground chamber.

_"AND DON'T EVER COME BACK UP!"_

 


End file.
